"AestheticsInMotion" (aestheticsinmotion)
11/09/2019 at 00:07 • Filed to: Hiking, Writing, *whispers* drinking
7
10|
"AestheticsInMotion" (aestheticsinmotion)
11/09/2019 at 00:07 • Filed to: Hiking, Writing, *whispers* drinking | 7
| 10 |
An excerpt from my newest book, presented here free of charge! Coming soon to a popular slam poetry club near you.
!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!
Everything hurts and I’m dying
Why oh why did I ever go hiking
Ignoring the pain
And the bitter cold rain
I carry on though inside I’m crying
!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!
The air outside tears at my face
My boots keep untying at the lace
I’m cold and I’m mad
I’ve tripped oh so bad
Why oh why did I come to this place
!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!
I’m fumblin’ and stumblin’ and tumblin’
My elapsed time collapsed is quite troublin’
And though so far has passed
Quarter-mile perhaps
Bitter thoughts in my mind are now grumblin’
!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!
Sweat makes rivers and puddles and lakes
I’m a mess but I guess them’s the breaks
Though I wish I was dead
And not hiking instead
At least I’m not stuck cleaning jakes
!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!
Oh lord I just don’t understand
What possessed me to go with this plan
Bleeding and bruised
In need of much booze
This goddamn hike can kick sand
!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!
I’m asking and begging for mercy
And though I know that I speak with you tersely
You must be aware
That I feel I’m ensnared
To my aid I’m quite ticked you won’t hurry
!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!
How I got so damn lost I can’t say
Deaf ears turned by the gods whom I praid
I cursed them by name
Till my voice ‘gan to fade
From the heavens a light shined my way
!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!
Then all of a sudden came a bear
This bear gave me quite a large scare
With pants now turned brown
I turned right around
And found myself in the bear’s lair
!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!
The god’s light had been naught but a trap
Those dirty conniving **** sacks
With an upwards-turned glare
I said “ye best prepare”
Cause I’m coming to pay you right back
!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!
A long story short I must make
To explain to you this twist of fate
The bear that had found me
And almost had downed me
Instead decided a friend I would make
!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!
Blood boiling with vengeance we climbed
Wrath filled hearts of both bear and I
At the God’s we did rage
They who did write the page
We’d been used for the very last time
!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!
Alright you damn bastards, red rover
Send the big man with white robes on over
For the sins he’s committed
He will not be acquitted
Nay instead of our burden he will shoulder
!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!
With a ring of the bell it was set
We took East while ol’ Allah took west
And while two-against-one
Might look unfair to some
Twas deemed kosher by all of the rest
!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!
See it seems the big man wasn’t well-liked
Other deities held much hatred and fright
So slammed like a book
With tremendous left hook
When he tapped out the crowds cheered all night
!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!
And thusly was fairy tale created
Of the God whom by two was checkmated
And all this begin
With a dumb fookin’ plan
To go hike in the rain “stead of waitin’
wafflesnfalafel
> AestheticsInMotion
11/09/2019 at 00:24 |
|
O de to ice and Advil, (and agree - no playing dead if running into a cantankerous ursa - time to focus that hatred and fright directly into the biggest f’n left hook you can muster.)
|
AestheticsInMotion
> wafflesnfalafel
11/09/2019 at 00:28 |
|
I'm an ibuprofen guy myself but I don't judge
This is what we'll show whenever you publish anything on Kinja:
> wafflesnfalafel
11/09/2019 at 00:35 |
|
Don’t ever misspell cantankerous on Jez. Whatever you do.
|
This is what we'll show whenever you publish anything on Kinja:
> AestheticsInMotion
11/09/2019 at 01:21 |
|
| / | | (__) || / /´> ) ( / (_ | / | | / ) ) )
(Edit: That did not work, at all.)
Also edit:
|
AestheticsInMotion
> This is what we'll show whenever you publish anything on Kinja:
11/09/2019 at 01:29 |
|
Absolute unit.
SilentButNotReallyDeadly...killed by G/O Media
> AestheticsInMotion
11/09/2019 at 02:53 |
|
I could grizzle but I'll bear with it.
facw
> AestheticsInMotion
11/09/2019 at 07:51 |
|
That’s not how hiking with Jesus is supposed to work. I hear it should be more like this:
|
AestheticsInMotion
> facw
11/09/2019 at 09:44 |
|
I hadn’t seen that one.
This guy is a national treasure.
|
AestheticsInMotion
> SilentButNotReallyDeadly...killed by G/O Media
11/09/2019 at 09:44 |
|
*groans*
davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com
> AestheticsInMotion
11/11/2019 at 09:48 |
|
LOL